REMEMBER THESE?

The old house smells like Pine-Sol. Hanging in the breakfast nook is a wooden plaque that asks, "If you're so dern smart, why ain't you rich?" On the coffee table, next to the depression glass bowl full of congealing caramel corn, is a wooden hinge that says "OPEN IN CASE OF FIRE!" Inside it says "NOT NOW, STUPID! IN CASE OF FIRE!" In Grandpa's study where the children aren't allowed is a miniature tableau of a bolt chasing a nut; it is captioned "No! Not without a washer!" And in Grandma's sewing room is the YEAH BUTT, which is given (temporarily) to childen who are always saying "Yeah, but..." when they should be saying "Yes, ma'am!" God bless America!

And yet, impossible as it seems, until recently the YEAH BUTT has never existed! Where has it been? Reposing in seed form in Mark Martin's sweltering brain; that's where! And now it has emerged from the realm of imagination and taken its place alongside the other great innocent novelties of yesteryear. Get yours at http://www.markmartin.net/yeahbutt.html