Saturday, July 28, 2007

SO REAL YOU CAN TASTE IT



This image of a stateless prodigy from my drawing Life After Man appears on the blog of Peter Wagner, who used the celebrated Z Brush to create it. What a fine object it would make, rubbery and scented with pear and oleander. China, are you listening?

Peter's blog is full of such little marvels. Go see now, Betty! http://polygonpete.blogspot.com/

Monday, July 23, 2007

THE BEAR MAXIMUM


















Thanks to the rough nature (!) of this preliminary study, even careful viewers may not observe the bitten-off ear and human chaw-marks on the muzzle. Likewise, you can't really see the rivulets of blood, but they're there. As is so often the case, the biggest and most important aspect of the thing is hidden, hidden in a shadowy closet the size of a tick's remorse.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

JESSICA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3NueKXS6dk

Ordinarily we at the Woodring Monitor spurn populist fare, but in this case an exception must be made.

Friday, July 20, 2007

REMORA

video
Because I gashed my hand on a Cairns hotel ceiling fan I was unable to snorkel the Great Barrier Reef. Bastard! I was confined to the glass-bottom boat. There I saw a remora clinging with his head-sucker to the glass. I meant to take a snapshot; didn't even realize the camera could shoot video; so this little artifact was garnered accidentally. Smif.

WHILE THE TAXI WAITS


In the absence of something more stimulating here is a candid snap of a previously undocumented painting in repose. Thanks to Matt Tamaru for surreptitiously capturing this cozy domestic scene.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

DUTY IN LIMBO

I'm writing to you on a quaint little computer courtesy of the Seattle Municipal Court where I am waiting to to be selected, like a lobster, from the tank of potential jurors. For some reason I haven't been picked yet, and the afternoon is dwindling. If my high school sports days are any kind of harbinger, I'll be selected next to last, just before the huge asthmatic fellow, and then only grudgingly.
The jurors who were chosen earlier today are no doubt gazing with excited eyes at a defendant and trying to tell just from looking at him (or her!) whether he or she actually did sideswipe the Bookmobile or garrote the cat next door. But they must keep their intuitions out of play and make their decision based entirely on the facts as presented.

How creepy it is down here. Everyone looks guilty. Everyone IS guilty! Must go wash my hands now.
UPDATE:
They just called my name and I'm waiting to go in. Don't even bother to ask me what the trial is about during its run, 'cause I won't tell you.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

LIFE AFTER MAN


5,000,000 sunsets later, all that remains of our fatally flawed species, which introduced the concept of tragedy to the local cosmos, is an intriguing architectural motif and the unusual second and third layers of crust which cover so much of the surface of the planet. The world has become an interdimensional crossroads where nothing is capable of having a bad result. How strange we were!

JESUS AND THE BEAR PHASE ONE


These are the purely calciferous and mineral elements of this heart-loosening tableau, set in the Anti-Lebanon mountains circa 28 AD. We are building outwards. Historians, let us hear from you! No fossils, phonies or religious nuts, please.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

STATELESS PRODIGIES

Affiliated with salvia divinorum, squeezed out of the conscious mind during the grinding process. They don't look like much because they are nothing to see.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

IT'S SUMMERTIME!